


Reasons to be Frightened

by saltysarah



Series: But It Was Worth It, And It Was Perfect [1]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: F/M, Hide does his best but he's still really insecure, Kaneki being an emotionally compromised dumbass, M/M, MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE ENDING OF :RE, Multi, OT3, Polyamory, The only way out a love triangle is a threesome, Touka is the only one who has an inkling of sense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-24 19:39:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16646441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saltysarah/pseuds/saltysarah
Summary: So, Touka’s pregnant and Hide’s back. Kaneki has been consistently batting above his weight since Rize, but now he desperately doesn’t know what to do, especially since the fighting’s stopped. Isn’t there anything left for him to kill? How else is he going to get them both to stay?





	1. Kaneki

“So,” Hide began, and Kaneki immediately knew he was going to regret whatever next left his mouth, “this is awkward.”

Hide’s mouth. Which Kaneki ate because he’s fucked in the head-

“Oi.”

His head rattled, bouncing off the wall after Touka flicked him on the forehead with her kagune. She should look monstrous, eyes black and red and her electrifying wings arching overhead, but Kaneki could only think of how beautiful she was, even as exasperation turned her mouth.

“That look means he’s thinking something idiotic again,” Touka muttered.

“Better than something stupid,” Hide returned, his grin audible despite the scarf covering the lower half of his face. “It’s a fine, fine line when it comes to Kaneki.”

Touka rolled her eyes, her kagune finally subsiding. “Tell me about it.”

In all of his deepest, darkest dreams and desires, he’d never seen them getting along like this.

“Are we going to share custody, then?” Hide asked. “Schedule make out sessions and dates or stick him as the meat in the sandwich?”

Wait, what?

“What?”

Kaneki touched his throat, a little alarmed at the sound that left his throat.

Hide turned to him with an expectant look on his face. His eyes were still so expressive, their brown depths still so warm and lit like amber from within. Their honey colour reminded Kaneki of the home Hide had been for him for so long after his mother died, of their shared childhood, of the hole in his heart he hadn’t known how to fill.

Hide’s matter-of-fact tone shocked him back to the present.

“Touka’s not going to give you up,” Hide was saying, “and I can’t ask that of her, not with a bun in the oven, I’m told.”

Hide’s eyes crinkled, and Kaneki abruptly flushed, unable to meet his leer.

Touka just made an impatient noise. “If it comes down to it, I’m saddling you with this kid,” she said, and her voice certainly sounded threatening, but her body was open and loose and languid, and the way she was looking at Hide and the way he was looking back-

Hide started chuckling, running a hand through his dark hair. He’d bleached it their first day of high school and got sent home for his trouble, although his dads never seemed to mind.

“Look at that face,” he said, reaching out to ruffle his hair.

“Hide,” Kaneki grumbled, even as he ducked his head into the touch.

Hide exhaled, the sound almost a sigh. “If I were any less selfish,” he said softly, and Kaneki had never heard him speak like this, “I’d smile and back off, because I know what family means to him.”

Touka tipped her head from side to side, and Kaneki had seen Loser do the same often enough to know not to mention it.

“Maybe if we were comparing, you could say he’s been your family for far longer,” she said, before smirking. “But we’re not comparing, are we?”

Hide’s eyes were twinkling. “Well, if you wanna start a measuring competition-”

Kaneki had no idea what was going on, but his 2 favourite people were together, laughing, so things couldn’t have been too bad.

“Just- out of curiosity,” Touka said, and Hide groaned, covering his face with his hand, “what exactly were you going to do, now that you know Hide’s alive and all? Kaneki.”

“What…am I going to do?” Kaneki repeated, non-comprehending.

“Yeah,” Touka said, a savage grin growing on her mouth for some reason. It made her black eyes sparkle, drawing attention to the thickness of her lashes and the way loose strands of hair drifted across her ivory face like a veil. “You know where Hide is now,” she continued. “So where’s he going to stay?”

“I’ll have you know I have my own place-”

“Aren’t you staying with us?” Kaneki implored, feeling suddenly lost.

“I think that’s something you should discuss with- with your other half before you make any offers,” Hide replied, a frown crossing his face.

“That…doesn’t sound quite right,” Kaneki said, glancing at Touka.

She raised an eyebrow. “Which part? The part where you’re supposed to discuss Hide’s living arrangements with me? Or when he called me your other half?”

Kaneki couldn’t help the face he made at the phrase. “Yeah,” he said slowly, “that. It just doesn’t seem…because that’s not what we are to each other. Is it?”

“O-kay,” Hide muttered, “and I’m gonna tactfully bow out of this conversation right about now-”

“Where are you going!” Kaneki cried out. Hide just stared at him, frozen.

Touka sighed, rolling her eyes at them both. “Just sit down, you idiot,” she told Hide. “It was kind of obvious when Kaneki’s hind brain chose to eat your mouth. Even if most people aren’t quite that literal about it.”

Hide blanched, and Kaneki…Kaneki didn’t quite know what to think.

“…what?”

“Besides, it’s not as if you’re going to let yourself be relegated to the side just because I’m pregnant,” Touka continued, matter-of-fact.

Hide’s hands were fists, clenched against his thighs. “I should,” he growled.

“You’re an even bigger idiot than I thought if you think you’re doing Kaneki’s mental stability any favours by leaving,” Touka declared, and then pierced Kaneki through with a glare when he opened his mouth. “You cry out his name in your sleep, you idiot, so sit there, shut up, and let the adults figure this out.”

Hide sighed, running a hand through his hair again. “I don’t think you’re being totally fair to him,” he said.

And then Touka’s words finally penetrated his ears, and Kaneki felt like he could combust on the spot. It was then that she sent him a soft, almost fond look.

“Such an idiot,” Touka said, her mouth curving upwards. “If you thought Hide was going to live with us, where did you think he was going to sleep? A pullout in the living room? A futon on the bedroom floor? On the other side of our bed?”

Kaneki bit his tongue before he could say the latter didn’t sound too bad. He had some sense, thank you very much!

Still, she sent him a knowing look, and he bit down harder, not even wincing when he tasted blood in his mouth.

“Kaneki.”

He dragged his gaze up from the floor to meet her black eyes, as calm and endless as the ocean’s depths on a winter night.

“Be truthful, for once in your life.”

Hide grunted, but Kaneki was already speaking.

“I never- I never saw my life without you in it,” he admitted. He didn’t know why Hide looked so shocked; Hide had known so many things about him before he’d even realised those things about himself, this should have been old news. “Any thoughts or dreams I had about the future always featured you right there next to me.

“And when I- when I was Haise, and didn’t remember and didn’t know any better- there were still times I would turn and look for someone who wasn’t there. It- it didn’t make sense at the time, but after I remembered- and even then I couldn’t let myself think too much or remember what I’d done because I couldn’t bear the truth of not having you there and knowing I only had myself to blame for it.

“And then when they told me you were- you were, and I saw what I’d done to you-”

“I told you to do it!” Hide interjected.

Kaneki had to reach out then with a softness he’d never dared to expose before. He’d learnt this, ironically, from Touka, who needed kid gloves the least out of all of them, but Kaneki had only wanted to be gentle with her, had only ever thought she deserved gentleness from him.

His hand was trembling, and Hide looked almost afraid.

“Not like that,” Kaneki whispered, tugging the scarf down to reveal the raw muscle and sinew and bone. He traced the edge of Hide’s face where there was only a sliver of untouched skin left, terrified of hurting him even more than he already had.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “You were the one person I didn’t want to hurt.”

He’d said so many iterations of that phrase to so many people. He’d meant all of them, of course, to Touka and Hinami-chan especially, but they were ghouls, and even if he flexed his strength against them- and there were times where he’d had to- their abilities meant that they’d still be safe.

Not so Hide.

It was the main reason he’d tried so hard to push the other man away when things first started going to shit. Hide had been the lone spot of brightness in his life; Kaneki couldn’t let the savage underbelly of the world dim his light.

“Idiot,” Hide said roughly, shoving at his head only to manhandle him into a hug. Kaneki could have broken out of the hold- and broken Hide along with it, but all he did was bury his face in Hide’s shoulder and inhale the sun-warmed scent of his skin, a little charged from the electronics he was so fond of tinkling with.

A touch on his arm had him raising his head to find that Touka had moved closer, and Hide was watching her with an almost unnatural calm.

“Stay,” she said simply. “And not just because of Kaneki, or that I think you can help out with the kid. Stay because you want to. Stay because you think this could work.”

“Stay because I like you, and that I thought if I had to give Kaneki to one person, it would’ve been you?” Hide chuckled, but there was no humour in his voice.

“You idiot,” Touka griped, smacking Hide up the side of his head. “Didn’t you hear a word I just said? Stay because-”

“Because I want to,” Hide said softly, and it was kind of strange, listening to this conversation that was peripherally about him and kind of did involve him while he was slumped against Hide’s front, arms looped around his waist and face mashed against his shoulder, but Kaneki was warm and comfortable, and he would never be safer than with these 2.

“I do,” Hide insisted, “you don’t know how badly I want to. But I don’t- I don’t want to wake up one day and have you resent me for overstepping- or Kaneki to guilt himself to death just looking at me-”

“The latter is probably going to happen first,” Touka huffed with a small laugh. Kaneki growled out a small protest, but then Hide patted his head, and it felt right to just nuzzle into Hide’s shoulder, never mind that they’d never been the touchy-feely type of friends, not even as children.

“There, there,” Hide said, the laughter audible in his voice, and Kaneki closed his eyes and basked in the warmth and generosity of the 2 people he loved best in the world.

…3, if he were to count Touka’s and his unborn child.

“I- you- please- please stay,” Kaneki raised his head long enough to stammer, before ducking back down to hide in Hide’s shoulder. “If- if anything changes, I’m the one who should- I’ll leave,” he added, muffled against Hide’s sleeve. It was only right, he thought, since out of the 3 adults present, it was obvious he was the only who didn’t have their shit together.

“Oh my god, Kaneki,” Hide said, as Touka growled.

“Don’t make me drag you off him,” she snarled.

Kaneki was flustered enough to push upright. “I’m not wrong, and you know it,” he retorted. “I don’t- I’m a mess, and I obviously can’t function without-”

Touka grabbed him and shook him, Hide quickly leaning back so she wouldn’t backhand him in the face by mistake.

“No one’s saying you have to,” she grit out. “That’s it, you’ve been demoted to dumbass.”

Somehow, Hide was grinning, his teeth bright against his ruined flesh. “That’s the father of your child right there.”

Touka huffed and glanced heavenward. “Is it too late for takebacks?” she asked, but her eyes were crinkled at the corners.

Kaneki watched them smile at each other, knowing and warm and so very alive. Hide clucked his tongue, reaching forward to ruffle his hair again.

“What silly thoughts are going through that overlarge head of yours?” Hide asked, but the hand on his head was so very gentle. Hide had always only ever been gentle to him.

Kaneki glanced between him and Touka, and… “I don’t even know where to start.”

Touka’s mouth flattened into a thin, straight line. “Try,” she said flatly.

He looked at her, really looked at her, at the firm expression carved onto her alabaster skin, her petite nose and the way her mouth was so very expressive. She and Ayato were unmistakably siblings, and he knew from old photos that they both resembled their mother.

Kaneki kind of hoped their child would take after her, too.

“How…” he began slowly, “how do the 2 of you…how do you’ll find it so easy to just- just-?”

Kaneki wasn’t even sure what he was trying to ask.

Hide and Touka exchanged a long look, exasperation slanting their brows even as their mouths curved, and their eyes spoke words while their tongues lay silent.

“Like that,” he said, and faltered, because he didn’t know how else to explain how he was feeling.

Hide snorted, and Kaneki had forgotten about the hand still on his head until Hide shoved at him, lightly, and his shoulder bumped into Touka’s. She took his hand and laced their fingers together before looking at Hide again, and smiling.

“Do you mind it?” Touka asked.

“No!” Kaneki exclaimed, because watching his 2 favourite people together would always be his privilege. “No,” he repeated, softer, reaching out hesitantly, and then swallowing when his grip was returned whole-heartedly. “I could never.”

Hide squinted at him. “Do you like it?”

“How couldn’t I?” he said helplessly. “It’s you, and Touka, and-”

“And the baby,” Hide supplied patiently.

Kaneki cleared his throat, feeling his ears heat. “And- and the baby.”

Hide laughed ruefully, even if the way the exposed muscle twisted looked a little gruesome. Touka’s pleasure was a small, private smile and the way she tucked herself against his shoulder.

“Kaneki, I know you were the One-Eyed King and the leader of Goat and Arima-san’s apprentice or whatever they called you over at the CCG, but sometimes I look at you and find it all a little hard to believe.”

Kaneki couldn’t blame him, not when some days he still awoke thinking it had all been a dream. And he might still regret a lot of things, things that he’d done and had done to him, but he wouldn’t wish it hadn’t happened. Not when it led to Hide on one side of him and Touka and their unborn child on the other, all of them so very warm and viscerally alive.

“It’s strange, isn’t it?” Touka mused. “I’ve seen him fight, you’ve seen him fight, I even fought against you, right at the start.” Her voice grew stronger. “You’re our leader,” she declared, and then snorted. “But you’re also a wishy-washy crybaby.”

“Hey!” Kaneki exclaimed, but he couldn’t find it in himself to be upset when they were both laughing, even if it was at his expense.

“It is kinda nice, though,” Hide murmured, lightly knocking their heads together, “to know that even after- after everything- some things still stay the same.”

“I would’ve been happy,” he said lowly, “with you, Touka, and our child. I didn’t think- I couldn’t even have dreamt this.”

Touka raised an eyebrow. “And now that you’re not dreaming it? Now that you know Hide’s here to stay?”

Kaneki started to chuckle, shaking his head. He could tell he’d confused them, a little, with his response, but only tightened his hold on them both.

“I don’t think I could be happier,” he confessed. “Is it right?” he asked. “To be this happy? Am I al-?”

“If the next word out of your mouth is ‘allowed’, Kaneki Ken, I’m going to bash your face in, One-Eyed whatever be damned,” Hide snapped.

“I’m not going to let go,” Kaneki said, “of either of you. Even if I wasn’t allowed. I don’t think I could.”

Hide weakly thumped his chest with his fist. “I said I was going to bash your face in.”

“You suck,” Touka retorted. “This is how you do it.”

“Touka-”

She grabbed the front of his shirt and hauled him into a kiss.

Kaneki moaned into her mouth and she took full advantage of his parted lips to slide her tongue into his mouth.

“Damn, that’s hot,” Hide rasped, flexing the hand in his hair.

Touka ended the kiss with a last vicious curl of her tongue, looking entirely too self-satisfied as she did so.

“Your turn,” she croaked, shoving Kaneki into Hide.

It was Hide’s turn to look uncertain. “Uh- Touka, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I don’t exactly have-”

Kaneki very firmly didn’t let himself think about the last time he’d tried to do this, and what he’d actually done instead.

“You have to tell me what to do,” he murmured, “I don’t ever want to hurt you. I don’t ever want to hurt you again.”

Hide made a broken sound before pressing their mouths together.

It was entirely different, not least of all because it was Hide, who no longer had lips or cheeks or flesh. If it could have helped him, Kaneki would have gladly let Hide return the favour. Instead he could only gently mould his lips to the edge where the flesh of his upper lip ended and revealed the orbicularis oris.

Hide sobbed against his mouth, fingers plucking at his shoulders.

“Kaneki,” he was mumbling, “Kaneki, Kaneki-!”

Kaneki seized Hide in his arms and held him tight, relishing in the strength that gripped him back and feeling tears prickle his eyes. He looked over Hide’s head to find Touka already looking back at him, warmth in her gaze.

“I’m not going to pretend to know all the answers,” he said, “but I’ll do everything I can to…” His words trailed off uncertainly as both Touka and Hide started to laugh.

“You dumbass,” Hide sputtered through his chuckles, “isn’t this how it all started? With you trying to take on the world on your own?”

“Idiot,” Touka said fondly, reaching around him to lightly punch Hide’s shoulder, “Kaneki wouldn’t be him if he didn’t make at least one stupid declaration of this sort.”

“You’re not ever doing anything alone ever again,” Hide said, stabbing him in the chest with a finger. His brown eyes were wet; Kaneki never wanted to be the cause of Hide’s tears.

“But- how-?”

“You idiot,” Touka huffed, punching him in the shoulder this time, much harder than she had Hide. “Can’t you take a hint?” She snorted when all Kaneki could do was stare at her blankly.

“Just be yourself, Kaneki,” Hide said, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “That’s all we ever wanted for you. From you.”

“But- what about the 2 of you?” Kaneki asked.

Hide and Touka exchanged another long knowing look full of smiles and overwhelming fondness.

“Go on,” Hide said with an impish grin, “go on, ask yourself what we get out of this.”

“What do you-”

“Idiot, didn’t you hear what he said?”

“It’s going to get confusing if you keep calling us both ‘idiot’,” Hide told Touka, his grin widening.

“You’re right,” Touka said, “you can be ‘idiot’,” she said, pointing at Kaneki, “and you can be ‘dumbass’.”

Hide laughed, the sound glittering around them the same way dust motes glittered in the sun.

“I don’t love you yet-”

“-but you think you could?” Touka smirked, but it was tempered by the slant of her eyebrows.

Hide rolled his eyes at her, which made her laugh. Then he caught Kaneki watching them, and waggled his eyebrows at him.

“Jealous?” he teased, but there was something more to his question, Kaneki instinctively knew it.

“No,” he replied as sincerely as he could, “never.”

Bizarrely, Hide pouted at him, but Touka set her hand on his shoulder. “Let me,” she said, and jerked her chin at Kaneki to get his attention. She didn’t really have to; whenever she was in a room, Touka inevitably always had it, at least a little bit of it.

“Are you worried about the 2 of us preferring each other to you, and riding off into the sunset without you?” Touka asked.

Kaneki blinked. He really didn’t understand where either of them were going with this.

“Barring the fact that neither of you would do that,” he said, only for Touka to click her tongue at him.

“Just answer the damn question, Bakaneki!”

Hide nudged him with his elbow. “A personalised insult. Is this an upgrade from ‘idiot’?”

“Would you believe that I honestly don’t know?” Kaneki replied, extremely bemused.

“Bakaneki…” Touka growled, her irises beginning to darken and ominous cracks heralded the emergence of her kagune.

“I am!” Kaneki yelped, raising his hands in surrender. “I am, a little! Just- I mean, if the 2 of you are happier together, who am I to stand in your way?”

Hide and Touka exchanged yet another long look, Touka’s overwhelmingly smug.

“Bakaneki,” Touka ordered, “repeat that last bit again.”

Hide nudged him. “I think you’re stuck with that one,” he stage-whispered at him, “my condolences.” He didn’t sound very apologetic.

“Dumbass…” Touka growled warningly.

“Sorry!” Hide chirped. Touka levelled quite the glare at him, before redirecting it his way.

“Well?” she said expectantly.

Kaneki swallowed. “Uh- who- who am I to stand in your way? Is that-”

“Yeah,” Touka said, “that was it. Now ask yourself that question, Bakaneki. Who are you, to us. And maybe then you’ll realise what we get out of this.”

“But I’m just me,” Kaneki said helplessly. “So all you’re getting is-. Oh. _Oh.”_

“Now he gets it,” Hide drawled. “Give the man a medal. Ding ding ding!”

“But is that eno-.” Kaneki snapped his mouth shut at another warning glare from Touka. Clearly, his pity party wasn’t going to be tolerated, which meant that he could only take their word for it.

He inhaled deeply, his thumb pressing against his knuckle, only to wince when the crack sounded loudly between them. He looked up apologetically, but Hide was already talking to Touka.

“Should I be insulted or flattered that Kaneki equates this conversation with a battle?”

Touka was smirking at them, arms folded across her chest.

“A bit of both, I think,” she said.

The longer Kaneki thought about it, the more he realised he didn’t actually mind their cryptic side conversations and long telepathic looks. It was hard to feel excluded  
with both Hide and Touka sprawled around him, clearly warm and alive, even if he was the butt of their jokes.

“I didn’t think I would ever be this lucky,” was all he managed in the end.

Touka rolled her eyes at him- again. If this continued, they were liable to roll right out of her head. “Sap,” she muttered, but snuggled deeper against his side.

Kaneki ducked his head to hide his smile, but Hide chucked his chin, mouth stretched wide in a grin of his own. Kaneki hesitated, eyes lingering, and Hide cocked his head.

“Am I allowed to-”

Hide interrupted him with a huff.

“Bakaneki,” he said without any malice, “you’re allowed to do anything you want.”

Kaneki absently tightened the arm he had around Touka’s shoulders, and wow, when did that get there.

“Okay,” he said faintly, before tipping forward and pressing his mouth to Hide’s.

It tasted so sweet.


	2. Touka

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> God grant Touka the strength to survive these dumbasses. Why couldn't she have been a lesbian instead? Also, this chapter is the reason for the rating.

“You couldn’t break me even if you tried,” Touka snapped exasperatedly, for what had to be like the 10th time. “Maybe Kaneki here could, but he’s chicken-shit when it comes to fighting people he knows, so I’m almost sure I can slit his throat first.”

Kaneki winced, while Hide’s eyebrows were just climbing higher and higher.

“That’s- not something I’ve ever worried about during sex. Like, ever,” Hide repeated.

“No breaking or throat-slitting,” Kaneki insisted.

Touka grinned, in a playful mood tonight. Pregnancy was fucking with her hormones more than usual. “But anything else goes?”

Hide barked out a laugh before Kaneki could chastise her again.

“Can I?” he asked, those big brown eyes of his warm and trusting, but not entirely able to hide the nugget of worry.

“Give me what you got,” she challenged, chin tipped up. It went without saying that everything else would go to Kaneki.

There was gratefulness in his gaze, and like always it turned her stomach to face it head on, so she closed her eyes and leant up into the kiss, one hand on Kaneki’s shoulder while the other pulled Hide’s head down. It was hard to get too close, even with Kaneki politely wriggling out of the way, but his wriggling gave rise to other problems, too.

Gave rise. Ha.

It was weird, kissing someone with no lips, the scent of flesh and life lingering so strongly over his exposed muscle and sinew. But Hide still had his teeth and tongue and knew how to use them, which kind of was more than she could say about Kaneki, when he got excited. He was getting excited now too, breath hot on her throat as he moved his hips, rubbing himself against her thigh and grinding back against Hide.

“So this is- this is definitely happening, then,” Hide murmured as they parted, nuzzling at the hinge of her jaw. There was a hand worming its way between her thigh and Kaneki- oh, it was Hide’s, knuckles rubbing against her crotch even as he cupped Kaneki’s cock.

Shit, Hide could multitask. _Yes,_ this was definitely happening.

Touka shoved them both off of her.

“Get naked, now,” she ordered as the 2 men stared up at her in shock from where they’d fallen to the floor.

“Well?” she barked, tearing at her own clothes.

By the time she was naked, they were too, their arousal far more obvious on them. Hide’s eyes caught sight of her belly, which was just beginning to show, and lit up, falling on her in an altogether different way.

“Ooh, baby baby baby!” he squealed, nuzzling at her tummy to coo at the growing foetus within. Touka did _not_ melt at his open affection. _She did not._

Kaneki was snickering as he stroked Hide’s hair, the useless lump.

“Maybe try that again, a little lower this time,” he said. Hmmph. Maybe Kaneki wasn’t _completely_ useless.

“Hmm?” Hide hummed, arching an eyebrow. Touka scowled at him; she didn’t trust that expression for a second.

“What, ooh, baby, baby, baby?” Hide crooned, and Touka opened her mouth to snarl but he took the chance to slide lower and slip his tongue _in,_ and her snarl became a groan instead.

It was Kaneki’s hands on her face, stroking her hair off her forehead; no one else touched her like she was made of glass. It was his lips on hers, moulding themselves against her slowly and somehow in time with the tongue lapping inside her.

Blindly, she scrabbled at the bedside table for the lube and tossed in an approximate direction. She knew she hit her mark when Hide made an offended noise, raising his head with one last slurp that took her breath away.

“I am like 90% sure I know what I’m doing,” Hide snarked.

Touka recovered enough to grapple for Kaneki’s pasty arse, hauling him more fully on top of her and dislodging Hide, given the squawk.

“You can multitask, can’t you?” she demanded, pulling Kaneki’s cheeks apart.

“To- Touka!” Kaneki stammered, blushing like a virgin. Well, he kinda was a virgin in this. They hadn’t really had a lot of time to explore past arse grabbing, and that already drove him insane. Touka could only imagine what actual penetration would do to him.

A wide grin was growing on Hide’s face, eyes crinkled so far they looked like slits.

“Oh, I can,” he leered, and then clambered on top of Kaneki, taking arse-grabbing duties into his own hands. She peeked, and saw him sliding his leaking cock up Kaneki’s crack, which had the man gasping and scrabbling at the sheets. Could Kaneki really fit that up there? Hide wasn't  _small._ He was treading water now, but Touka just knew he was going to be a freak. She bet he was one of those weirdoes who was gonna ask them to use their kagune in bed. 

“Shred my sheets,” she threatened, “and you’re buying me a new set.”

“I think shredded sheets should be the last thing on your mind,” Hide said.

“What? Why?” she snapped.

“Because,” he replied, leaning close to whisper into her ear, “I can delegate, too. Kaneki?”

He'd been sprawled between them largely speechless so far, pupils blown wide with arousal.

“Someone’s happy to be the ham in this sandwich,” Hide snickered. “Hand.”

Kaneki held his own out, confusion written all over his face.

Hide pulled it back into his mouth and, not once breaking eye contact with her, began to lick, and suck, and fellate the _fuck_ out of Kaneki’s fingers. Touka knew what that tongue felt like between her legs and still almost felt sorry for the guy, he was so red he looked ready to combust.

“What did I give you lube for?” she managed to say.

Hide’s grin grew devious. “One thing at a time, pretty bird.”

Touka frowned. Was that supposed to some pathetic excuse for an endearment?

“Now, Kaneki.”

Kaneki made a vague sound of acknowledgement.

“Use your index finger first. You know where Touka’s clit is, don’t you? Stroke it, lightly. Little flutters- yessssss, that’s it, just little strokes while your middle finger, you got it, yeah? Circles, around her vagina. Dip it in a little if you need to, but not all the way in. Both fingers, little circles, you got this.”

Touka only managed a single gasp of outrage before her voice was strangled by her own arousal and she _keened,_ overwhelmed by the assault on her eyes, her genitals, and the sheer _smell_ of her wetness.

Hide’s eyes were bright as he licked the line of her throat, and only brightened further when she could only pull his hair.

“Don’t forget about the rest of you, Kaneki,” Hide said. “Don’t her nipples look lonely? Your mouth looks lonely too, Kaneki, why don’t you- ah, such a smart boy,” he said approvingly, stroking Kaneki’s hair.

Kaneki was possibly the most powerful person in Japan, and all he could do was whimper at the sound of Hide’s voice.

“Is Touka wet enough- ah, put your fingers in then, index and middle, I don’t need to tell you what to do here, do I? Good boy,” Hide purred. “Don’t forget about Touka’s clit, okay? You wouldn’t want it to feel lonely, would you? You still have a thumb, after all.”

Touka just about shrieked as she came, chest heaving. Kaneki only then raised his head, looking entirely pleased with himself.

“Did I tell you to stop?”

Hide’s voice cracked upon them like a whip, and Kaneki immediately ducked his shoulders.

“No,” Touka moaned breathlessly, arousal not quite having subsided from her veins. “N- no, Kaneki, don’t listen to that dumbas- ah- ah _ah-!”_

Kaneki had ducked more than his shoulders, he’d ducked his head, too, applying tongue _and_ fingers in a race to chase her first orgasm with a second.

When Touka came back to her senses, it was to Kaneki making snuffling animal grunts against her shoulder, up on his knees with his arse canted high. He hadn’t come, and his flush had bled all the way down to the middle of his back.

“How long have I-?”

“Not long at all,” Hide murmured back. He had reared up on his knees too, was prying Kaneki open with his fingers even as he casually stroked himself with his other hand.

Touka frowned. “When did you-?”

Hide grinned, pausing his stroking so he could cheekily wiggle his fingers at her. “I can multitask, remember? Did the 2 of you ever do this?” he asked casually, his other arm flexing, causing Kaneki to shudder and choke.

“…no, not really,” Touka said. She’d never seen Kaneki look like this before, even when he’d entered her for the first time, and guided his head up so she could continue to watch the play of emotions on his face, entranced. “I mean, I knew he liked it when I grabbed his arse.”

“Oh?”

Touka didn’t trust that tone for a _heartbeat._

“You like your arse grabbed, do you?” Hide murmured, using the same hand he’d been stroking himself with to hold, and squeeze. “And if I-?” He darted forward and sunk his teeth into the plush curve of Kaneki’s arse.

Kaneki squealed like a stuck pig and came.

Hide blinked, a little taken aback. “Wow. I mean- wow.”

Touka raised an eyebrow at him. “Well?”

Hide frowned. “Well what?”

She reached up and gripped Kaneki’s arse, ignoring the shudder he gave at her touch, and pulled his cheeks apart. Hide must have been very liberal with the lube; she could feel it on her fingertips.

Her chest burnt with the weight of this knowledge. Hide didn’t have to, could have taken Kaneki raw and it would have only been mild discomfort compared to his wealth of experience. If Hide had continued to use that tone of voice on Kaneki, had stroked his head and called him a good boy, Kaneki might even have begged for it, and damn the consequences.

“Tab A, insert into Slot B,” she said instead of saying any of that sentimental crap out loud.

“You know,” Hide murmured, “I’m almost certain I’ve used those exact word- _hurk!”_

Touka rolled her eyes. It appeared like the only way to make Hide shut up was to take matters into her own hands- literally.

“Do I need to talk you through this?” she demanded.

Hide closed his eyes, and this close, she could see the thin skin of his eyelids fluttering, his nostrils flaring.

“No,” he said tightly, “I think I can manage.”

“Oi, Bakaneki, you still alive?” Touka said instead, holding his head in her hands.

In this position, she had a firsthand view of the way Kaneki reacted to being penetrated for the first time.

His eyes went wide and his jaw went slack, and a thin, high whine left his throat.

“Does it hurt?” Hide demanded, one hand gripping heavy and firm on the back of Kaneki's neck.

 _“Kaneki,”_ he pressed when Kaneki didn’t immediately answer.

“He wasn’t doing a very good job of talking before,” Touka pointed out. “You know, I’ve never seen someone get their brains fucked out of them, but you’re doing a pretty good job for a dumbass.”

“Am I hurting-”

“You do realise you can’t actually hurt him.”

“That wasn’t my question,” Hide grit out, fingers flexing but his grip never once wavering. 

Touka pointedly rolled her eyes before hefting Kaneki’s head in her hands. His eyes were utterly glazed over, and drool was starting to leak out of the corner of his mouth. It wasn’t really flattering, but Touka was certain she could safely say that, “Nah, you aren’t hurting him.

“In fact,” she added, “you should fuck him, and really put your back into it when you do it.”

Humour bled into Hide’s face, easing some of the strain there. Or the half-strain, since Hide really only had half a face left.

“Oh, should I?” he purred. “Is he hard again yet?”

“You do realise it’s only been- I don’t even know how long it’s been.”

“Again, that wasn’t the question,” Hide smirked, with a gentle thrust that sent Kaneki gasping. “If he is, you should help yourself. And if he isn’t- I’m going to get him there before I’m done.”

“Confident,” Touka said, but trailed one hand down Kaneki’s body anyway to grip his half-hard cock. Kaneki jerked at her first touch, and then began to whimper as she guided the head of her cock to her entrance.

“You all lined up down there?” Hide asked, hands encompassing Kaneki’s hips. Touka kind of liked the way he held Kaneki- not quite possessively, but more like it was a given that Kaneki belonged there under him.

She squinted at him suspiciously. “What are you- oh. Oh. _Oh!”_

Her thighs fell open as Hide fucked Kaneki into her with startling aim. Touka tried to glare.

“I feel- I feel like you’re _too_ good at this,” she gasped, hauling Kaneki up by the shoulders. Hide grinned and shoved Kaneki’s shoulders down so their chests began to rub against each other.

“I don’t hear you complaining.”

Touka groaned at a particularly well-aimed thrust.

“What?” Hide rasped. “What did you say there, my pretty bird? I don’t think I quite heard-!”

Touka growled and bucked up, cutting off whatever smartarse bullshit Hide was going to say next.

“I’m going to come,” she hissed, “ _again.”_

“You’re the only person I know who complains about orgasms,” Hide whined, fucking into Kaneki.

“And you’re the only guy I know who doesn’t have orgasms,” she retorted, taking a snap at his nose when it drifted close. “Why the fuck haven’t you come yet?”

Hide’s eyelids fluttered as his hips continued to move like a _machine._ Considering he had a human’s constitution, he fucked like a _god._ A little guiltily, Touka wondered what it would feel like to have those hips drilling into her, especially given how he clearly wasn’t into holding back, and then frowned.

Why the hell should she be feeling guilty? Hide was her whatever-the-hell-he-was to Kaneki, too. Or not, they weren’t childhood friends or star-crossed lovers or whatever the fuck they were. And Touka was the one who’d eaten Kaneki, once, although with a lot less permanent scarring.

She started at the touch on her cheek, and the splatter of droplets on her face. It was just sweat though, from where Hide was leaning over Kaneki to peer at her, eyes intent.

“Touka?” he asked.

She shook her head. “It’s not-”

“I think,” he interrupted, and Touka wanted to bite his tongue off and _eat it,_ “that you’re being derelict in your duty, Kaneki.”

Groggily, Kaneki raised his head, although he was still obviously pretty out of it.

Hide’s hands moulded around Kaneki’s hips to frame his waist. “I’m the only one putting in any effort around here,” he said, punctuating his words with a sharp thrust that wrung a strangling cry from Kaneki’s chest.

“T’ka?” Kaneki slurred.

All at once she felt overcome by the sheer amount of _life_ she was surrounded by.

“Shut up, Kaneki, and fuck me like you mean it,” she muttered, clinging to him as she rapidly blinked the tears out of her eyes.

Kaneki kissed her, loose and sloppy as his hands slid up her ribs, but Hide was still watching them, and she could feel Kaneki shaking with every thrust of Hide’s hips.

“T’ka,” Kaneki whimpered, “T’ka, I’m gonna come.”

She sighed, relaxing back into his hold. The heaviness of her first orgasms had almost been burnt out of her and now her pleasure had taken on a languid, sticky cast.

“Come on, then, Kaneki. What the hell are you waiting for?”

His eyes were bright and entirely too honest.

“Hide,” he replied, “m’waiting for Hide.”

Weirdly enough, those words had more effect on Hide than anything else so far. He looked almost stricken, fingers spasming where they dug into Kaneki’s hips. If Kaneki were human, they would definitely bruise. Even now, there was still a good chance that they’d bruise long enough to last the night.

Hide gave a soundless groan as his shoulders shook, face scrunched into an expression that looked almost painful as he came, Kaneki stumbling right after. Touka lay there, blanketed on either side by twin warm, sweaty, male bodies, and couldn’t find it in herself to regret a thing.

“Touka,” Hide mumbled, “Touka, did you-?”

Wordlessly, she shook her head. “It’s fine, I came earlier. I don’t need to- mmmpf!”

Hide stuck his tongue in her mouth while she was talking, and she bit him for his trouble.

“Kaneki,” Hide murmured against her skin, his fingers wreathed in soft white strands, “Kaneki, be a good boy and help Touka out, won’t you?”

She gave Hide a light shove. “I told you, I didn’t- didn’t-!”

Kaneki had spread her thighs to lick his own semen right out of her. God, they ate human flesh, and _this_ was what Touka found disgusting.

Hide kept on kissing her, his nimble fingers plucking at her nipples or ghosting around the curve of her belly. She shook through her third orgasm of the night, utterly exhausted.

Kaneki snuffled his way up her body, nipping at Hide’s wandering hands. She couldn’t help the face she made as he swung his head her way.

“I know where your mouth has been,” she said weakly. “At least brush first.”

Hide snorted at her. “More kisses for me then,” and obnoxiously stuck out his tongue.

Was it really too late to demand a refund?


	3. Epilogue - Hide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What does it mean when the born-ghoul is the only well-adjusted one out of the 3 of you? Things are coming to an end. Or a new beginning. Hide isn't sure which.

His head was pillowed on a pair of breasts.

They weren’t very _large_ breasts, but- what was it those otaku had called them, back at Kamii? God, university seemed like so long ago.

Wait a minute, did he even manage to graduate??

First-rate flat breasts!

God, Hide felt like a giant pervert even just thinking that.

He turned his head enough to be able to nuzzle one, marvelling at their softness. His face was- sensitive, to put it lightly, and the soft pert plushness of that breast was so startlingly different from the chaos his life had descended into.

As much as Hide thrived in madness and mayhem, even he had to admit he’d been in over his head for quite a fair bit of it.

There were fingers laced through with his, small palms and soft fingertips, the nails short and black.

Hide knew those hands.

Slowly, the memory of the last night bled into his brain.

And his dick. There was a lot of blood pooling in his dick. Hide attempted to stare it into submission, but he was warm and safe and surrounded by 2 exceedingly attractive naked people, one of which he’d grown into love with, the other-

Well, Touka was indubitably important to both him and Kaneki, if for very different reasons.

It was obvious Kaneki loved her, and Touka was pregnant with Kaneki’s kid. Even Hide couldn’t deny that whatever sprog sprouted from Touka’s vagina was going to be unfairly attractive. Maybe an adorable little moppet with Kaneki’s fluff for hair and Touka’s big, beautiful eyes.

God, Hide was going to spoil their kid rotten.

He didn’t love Touka yet- wasn’t actually sure he ever _could_ , which was something he was never going to tell Kaneki, because then Kaneki would switch on the high beam of disappointment at him, as if Hide needed more reminders that they'd never actually discussed this weird polyamory arrangement they were now in, despite the miraculous fact that the person he was in love with loved him back.

'Sex first, talk later' had to be the premise of every shitty romcom in existence.

Then again, with the way his life had gone so far, he deserved a bit of a romcom in his life.

Touka was totally dead to the world and snoring up a storm, starfished out under them. For such a small woman, she took up a surprising amount of space.

Kaneki was curled up on her other shoulder, making his usual little hamster-breathing sounds. There was eyeshit crusted on the outer corner of his eyes, his nose had run at some point last night, he was drooling and they hadn’t brushed their teeth last night, which meant that he had semen-and-vagina-flavoured breath on _top_ of morning breath, and- god, even Hide had to take a moment to swallow back the acid reflux- and Hide was still undeniably, irrefutably, utterly and completely in love with him.

God, he was such a hopeless case.

Hide remembered being told news of his father’s death, and then being fostered by 2 of his father’s colleagues, who’d become Dad and Daddy to him, and how he’d watched them orbit each other, how they’d trade barbs like duellists, kisses like lovers, and jokes like friends, and he’d _looked_ and decided that he'd wanted that with someone one day, too.

And then like a sign from god, Kaneki dropped into his lap. Quite literally, ‘cause the little bookworm hadn’t been looking where he was going and tripped right into his arms. Hide had known immediately that Kaneki had been lonely and he’d latched onto that, because he’d wanted to be Kaneki’s whole _world._

It lasted for as long as it took for Kamishiro Rize to sink her claws into him, and as they said, the rest is history. God, his dick had shrivelled like a worm even at the memory of it. Hide looked down sadly at his poor, poor dick.

Was all of that worth it, now that they were here? Hide honestly didn’t know.

A smack on the side of his head had him looking up.

Touka’s eyes were still closed, but the rhythm of her breathing had changed. Lost in his own thoughts, Hide hadn’t even noticed. He did notice that Kaneki was still zonked out.

“Shut up,” Touka growled. “You’re thinking so hard I can practically feel your head begin to overheat.”

“Not my brain?” he jibed.

“What brain?” Touka retorted. “What’s the big idea, anyway?”

He paused, not entirely certain of how to answer.

“None of this is weird to you?”

“Weird maybe, but weird is relative. Kaneki is a human-turned-ghoul, you're missing half your face, and I literally eat people like you for breakfast." Was it weird that Hide felt better now that Touka had taken a potshot at his mess of a face? It kinda felt like they'd been sidestepping the elephant in the room up to this point, so it was kinda nice to know that Touka was totally unafraid of calling him out. Then again, Touka seemed like the sort of person who'd never been afraid of anything in their whole life.

"I'm not surprised, if that's what you're asking. The only person Kaneki is good at hiding from is himself,” she continued flatly. “He hasn’t _once_ cried since he found out about you. I don’t need to be Freud to tell you what that means.”

“Contrary to popular belief, I’m almost certain Freud would try to explain away this attraction as some sort of well of subconscious oedipal longing.”

Touka pulled a face. “That’s disgusting. You’re disgusting.” She took a sniff. “Fuck, we all reek and we’re all disgusting.”

“I’m kinda surprised Kaneki’s stomach hasn’t turned,” Hide admitted. “That receptacle’s not exactly conducive to having things pumped in. Maybe it’s a ghoul thing?”

Touka raised her eyebrows at him, eminently unimpressed.

“Well, it was either that or my cum dribbled out of his arse and soaked into the bedding and we’ve all been lying in it since last night.”

“Ugh, what the fuck kind of afterglow even is this?”

“A realistic one,” he replied soberly.

Touka sent him a sharp look that was interrupted by Kaneki wheezing and snuggling into her bare shoulder. She couldn’t hide the softness in her expression, not from him.

“Look, you 2 care about each other-”

Touka raised her eyebrows, patently unimpressed. He clucked back. “Look, it’s true.”

“Are you still trying to bow out now?” Touka demanded. “I thought Kaneki kissed the stupidity out of you. Then again, this is Kaneki we’re talking about.”

Hide let out a laugh tinged with hysteria. “I don’t- I never meant to-”

“If you leave,” Touka said, “nothing’s going to stop him from tearing the world apart to look for you now that he knows you're alive. I’m certainly not.”

“You should. Or maybe his common sense,” he muttered. “He has you and a baby on the way, he doesn’t need-”

Touka huffed. “You do know that as ghouls, there isn’t really much that we need? So if we’re going by that fucked up logic-”

“Maybe- maybe he wants this,” Hide whispered, the closest he’d come to admitting his innermost desires. “But- but you, Touka, you-”

“I what?” she snapped.

“You can't want this," he said plainly, the words aching even as they left his mouth. "You deserve someone who loves you."

Touka tipped her head to the side. “And you don’t?”

“I’m not…very good at loving people,” he admitted with a wince. His love went hand-in-hand with obsession, going by the sheer number of walls he’d dedicated to following his dads’ investigations as a child, and then Kaneki’s own trail until it went cold. He’d been too delirious and overcome with pain while in recovery  to put the pieces together during Haise Sasaki's first year of existence, but once he heard about the Quinxes, nothing his dads said could have stopped him.

They weren’t happy with a lot of his decisions, but they loved him, nonetheless. Well, and it wasn’t as if Hide hadn’t shown this sort of obsessive behaviour previously with their own cases, before Marude had the brilliant idea of shoving whatever was left of the CCG after Furuta had fucked it over into his lap.

Hide had been going somewhere with this, hadn’t he?

“I- care, about you, and the baby,” he tried, wincing at the awkwardness of his words. “But when it comes to Kaneki…I’m, uh, a little, uh. Fixated?”

“You don’t say,” Touka said flatly. “You know, most people’s reaction to having their mouths and throats _eaten_ isn’t to stuff a bag over their heads and come back for second helpings. You’re a goddamned glutton for punishment where Kaneki’s concerned, that’s what you are.”

None of that…wasn’t true.

“It’s not that bad,” he said weakly.

Touka rolled her eyes at him. It was funny when she kept doing that to Kaneki, but it was a little different when it was him at the receiving end. The receiving end. _Ha._

“All it really means is that you’re committed to making sure he comes back at the end of the day, and isn’t stuck pulling some self-sacrificial bullshit.”

That also…wasn’t untrue.

“But what do you get out of this?” he asked, not ashamed to admit that he was on the verge of begging.

“Both you fuckers are so alike,” Touka muttered.

 _“Touka,”_ he pressed.

Her eyes were dark and hid endless nights in their depths, so very forthright in their gaze. Hide felt naked under their weight- he _was_ naked.

“You’re good people, Hide,” she finally said, “and you forget that Kaneki is equally as obsessed with you, in his own way. He could’ve chosen a lot worse people to be hung up on, you know? Can you imagine if it were Tsukiyama, that fucker?"

Now Hide was just insulted at the comparison.

"But you’re…you’re less idiotic than most.”

“I’m still a dumbass,” he offered, with a small smile.

“You _are,”_ Touka growled, jabbing him in the chest with a finger. _Owie._ She really wasn’t holding back anymore. “You ruined my afterglow.”

He huffed a soft laugh, curling around her and gently tugging Kaneki closer, too. “How can I make it up to you?”

“Such a dumbass,” Touka said. “Isn’t it obvious? All you have to do is stay.”

_Huh._

Kaneki was finally, _finally_ stirring, blinking a little up at them. The look on his face as he looked at them was entirely besotted, and he wasn’t doing anything to hide it. Hide didn't think he could. 

“Stay, huh?

“Yeah, I think I can do that.”

**Author's Note:**

> 2 things: how did no one's brain go into the gutter when Hide's scarring was revealed; and in desperate times, write the fanfic that you want to see in the world. This is purely wish fulfilment, because I love Hide and Kaneki's relationship, but I can't deny the connexion Kaneki has with Touka either, and I feel like Hide and Touka could really get along, given the chance. 
> 
> This _may_ be the start of a smutty, smutty series, because the only logical conclusion to a love triangle is a threesome :DDD


End file.
